You know, when your flesh has won the wrestling match over your spirit and so you act out in a very carnal way. Throw a temper tantrum, speak out with an attitude, or like Jonah – run in the opposite direction God was telling him to go.
Jonah 1.1-4, God says go to Nineveh, but Jonah takes off for Tarshish instead. Interesting that Tarshish was a very prosperous and popular place to be, while Nineveh at that time was a dark place with a dark history. Who wouldn’t rather have a ministry in an exotic and idealized port such as Tarshish? One could hide from God very well in a prosperous environment like that.
We all know the story; God sends a storm while Jonah is in route via a ship, and Jonah is thrown overboard in the storm. It’s while he is in the belly of a fish that he wrestles with God’s will for his life.
So, I ask myself, ‘What storm am I wrestling with, either external or internal, that God would send into my life because something isn’t right within me spiritually?’
Am I trying to determine my destiny and life, or am I listening to the voice of God? Jonah was willing to preach–just not to Nineveh. But that was only partial obedience. ‘I’ll preach, but where I want to preach.’ And that is where the fine line is for me. I can do the works, be a doer, that isn’t that hard for me. But am I listening, taking the time to get quiet and listen to who He may be asking me to walk with or talk with?
Oh Father, why do I do the things that I don’t want to do, and not do the things that I want to do? Why do I give my flesh so much strength? Forgive me of my selfishness, deliver me from myself, teach me Your ways, lead me and guide me in this journey of life.